Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you; leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

Jesus tells us to first go to the person one-on-one. Second, go to the person quickly. Jesus counseled that, if someone is worshiping God and remembers that he or she has offended a friend, the appropriate response is to stop right there and go immediately to the offended individual. With those words Jesus made it clear that correct interpersonal relationships are more important than correct ritual. This tends to grate against religious folks who say that God must be our first priority. It is true that God should be our primary focus. However, our relationship with God is better gauged by our human relationships than by religious ritual. Although we cannot guarantee that the offended brother will accept us, we are obligated to make every effort “as far as it depends on” us (Romans 12:18).

Jesus’ teaching is to take the initiative. When you have done something wrong, you go and make it right. When someone else has wronged you, you still take the first step.

If your friend has something against you, you go to him? And if you have something against your friend, you go to him? That has you going to him in both cases, whether you have something against him, or you know he has something against you (This is related to any relationship). When I first made that discovery, I remember thinking: That’s not fair! Then I realized that God is not asking us to do anything that He has not already done. You see, God is the initiator in the God-person relationship.

Jesus is not asking us to do anything he hasn’t modeled for us. He gave up heaven to come down to earth, become a servant and die to repair our broken relationship with the Father. In Jesus Christ, God takes the initiative. When we come to see how important people are to God, we will value what Christ’s death makes possible. We will value it enough to take the initiative in resolving relational breakdowns.

Effective leaders don’t ignore conflict. They consume it by creating an environment in which each other are enabled to work through relational friction on a one-on-one basis. Only after such efforts have failed are others allowed to enter the conflict, and then only for the purpose of bringing about reconciliation. Conflicts can’t be avoided, but they can be managed. And a wise leader will devote himself or herself to learning how to do just that.

You can very easily regna and bring an ending to your conflict. But by doing so; your future with your spouse would eventually be completely destroyed. And the reason is because you have not end the conflict with your spouse on using words that are very hurtful and painful towards you and vise-versa.

God is about relationship in Himself with you and your spouse; which means, you both are accountable to God and also to one another in words and actions. A relationship is plural and not singular; which also means, both of your perspectives has value. I suggest reading “ACCOUNTABILITY” which will give you a great perspective in how to end your conflicts forever