Fighting for Those Who Forgo the Fight –
When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging
her.” Ruth 1:18‬ (
Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house, Not only by her fruitfulness, as Leah and Rachel
built up the house of Israel; but by her good housewifery, prudent economy; looking well
to the ways of her household; guiding the affairs of her house with discretion; keeping
all things in a good decorum; and bringing up her children in virtue, and in the fear and
admonition of the Lord.
A woman who has no fear of God, who is wilful and wasteful, and indulges her ease, will
as certainly ruin her family, as if she plucked her house down. but the foolish plucketh it
down with her hands; the Vulgate Latin version adds, “being built”; this she does by her
idleness and laziness.
You know that friend who chooses the wrong guy over and over? Or those relatives who
keep cycling through the same struggles? The ones you love — but who make you
wonder how much they even love themselves?
We all have them.
And even when we can’t see it, they’re worth the fight.
Fighting for someone who doesn’t seem to want the best for themselves can be a real
drain on the emotions, though. I’ve been there.
It’s one thing to constantly remind a toddler that the purple crayon won’t taste like
grapes, no matter how many times he sneaks it into his mouth. But when we find
ourselves pleading with adults to change their harmful ways, it takes all the energy and
love of Christ not to eventually walk away.
Our unmet desire to see them thriving leaves the part of our hearts that’s reserved just
for them aching and empty.

Love makes us want more for them. Love makes us detest their bad choices. Love
makes us hang on when their will to fight for themselves appears to be diminishing by
the day.
What should we do when we’re fighting for them, but they’ve left us in the ring alone? If
they’ve given up on their own lives, shouldn’t we?
Jesus wouldn’t. Jesus didn’t. He fought for us when we were at our worst.
Let me pause here and say, this is by no means a suggestion to remain in a relationship
that’s dangerous or unbiblical. Quite the opposite.
We honor God by loving our neighbors as ourselves. (Mark 12:31a) If, or when, we find
ourselves clenching desperately to the end of our ropes, one strong wind away from
becoming an unrecognizable version of our worst selves, we’d want someone to love
us. To encourage us. To, at the very least, keep believing in us.
The issues causing someone to continue down a path of darkness are usually deeper
than what we can see from a shoreline level. Sometimes things like drug addiction or
past abuse are silent influencers.
For Naomi, it was depression and grief. After losing her husband and sons, she wanted
nothing more than isolation. She falsely believed that God had turned His back on her,
and she felt she had nothing left to offer.
Naomi’s daughter-in-law Ruth chose to believe otherwise, and despite Naomi’s best
efforts to push her away, Ruth didn’t let go. In the book of Ruth, Chapter 1, verse 18
says, “When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped
urging her.” Perhaps it was at that moment that Naomi’s hope began to be restored —
when she saw there was someone willing to fight for her.
A broken woman, frustrated with God, Naomi was set on being alone and miserable.
She even changed her name from Naomi, meaning pleasantness, to Mara, meaning
bitter. (Ruth 1:20) Naomi’s hurt was so deep that it became her identity!
Yet Ruth clung to her. She stayed with her. And she loved her.

Sometimes this is what it looks like to fight for those who have no fight left in them. As
much as we may want to give up on them and their destructive ways, we should lean on
God for the strength it takes to keep on loving them.
For Ruth, that meant leaving her home to start a new life with Naomi. It meant clinging
to her mother-in-law and keeping their relationship alive.God has a plan for our lives
(Esther 4:14)Mordecai nailed it when he said, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief
and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s
family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to the royal palace for such a
time as this” (Esther 4:14 NIV). God loved the Jewish people. And, he didn’t create
Esther’s beauty and finesse for her and her alone. Esther was placed in a royal position
to assist in the delivery of God’s divine plan.
As believers, there are no such things as accidents or coincidences. God’s timing is
providential. Esther’s divine moment of providence came by accepting her responsibility
to go to the king. However, Mordecai was clear when he said to Esther that she could
be the one who saved the people, or not. God will use you only if you’re ready
Esther stood with courage (Esther 4:16).“I will go to the king, even though it is against
the law. And if I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16 NIV). Esther was willing to die to save her
people. Sometimes we must stand in courage, even when it is not popular to do so, and
risk it all.
Esther’s obedience saved God’s people from genocide. The reality is that Esther didn’t
know what would happen when she approached the king. She acted in obedience and
by doing so she saved a nation and received the best. We don’t get a pass on this one.
Conclusion
Proverbs 14:1
Women are playing an important role in society today,

1. Women’s builts up a person
2. When you builts up a person you build up a home
3. When you builts up a home you build up a family
4. When you builts up a family you build up a society
5. When you builts up a society you build up a city

Women is very important in the society stay in connected with and build up a home as a
wise women.
For us, it may be continuing to bring a person before God in prayer even though they
are angry with Him. It may be going the extra mile to make sure they feel loved even
when they’ve been less than welcoming to us.
There are also times when fighting for them looks like cheering them on from a distance
while we heal and protect our own wounds. We have to seek God’s wisdom on how to
stay in the fight for those who have lost hope and have, frankly, become hard to be
around. He still loves them. He still wants them to live the best life they can on earth. He
still wants them to have eternity with Him, and so should we.
Jesus, You are the author of reconciled relationships. You drew me to You when I felt
like giving up. Help me love like You. Show me how to stand in the gap wisely for those
who desperately need You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Be Blessed ! Pastor J